Worthy Words #4: Personality Traits

Worthy Words #4: Personality Traits

In this post on Worthy Words, we are gonna look at the various types personality traits. Worthy Words is a blog series, where I discuss some of the important words, which I think and hope would help others.

Disclaimer: This is not psychological guidance or medical advice but rather a blog about personality trait words. Also, I wrote this using ChatGPT. So, don’t trust it for its words.

Understanding AvPD, NPD, and BPD: Three Very Different Struggles

Personality disorders often get misunderstood and lumped together, but each has distinct emotional cores, behaviors, and fears. Let’s break down three of the most commonly confused: Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) People with AvPD desperately want connection but believe they are deeply flawed and unworthy. They avoid relationships, jobs, and new situations because they fear rejection or embarrassment. They might appear shy, socially anxious, or emotionally distant — but inside, they’re often full of self-doubt and pain.

Core Fear: Rejection and ridicule Default Defense Mechanism: Withdrawal and avoidance Inner belief: “I’m not good enough; they’ll hurt me.” One-liner: I’m gonna runaway at the first hurdle.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) NPD is often mistaken for just arrogance, but it’s more about fragile self-esteem hidden behind a mask of superiority. People with NPD crave admiration, struggle to empathize with others, and may manipulate or belittle to maintain a sense of control or power. They fear shame and being seen as “ordinary.”

Core Fear: Exposure of inadequacy Defense Mechanism: Grandiosity, entitlement Inner belief: “If I’m not admired, I’m nothing.” One-liner: I’m gonna manipulate you on the first hurdle.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) BPD is marked by emotional intensity and instability in relationships. People with BPD often fear abandonment and may swing between idealizing and devaluing those close to them. Their moods can shift rapidly, and they may act impulsively out of fear, anger, or loneliness.

Core Fear: Abandonment Defense Mechanism: Cling-push behavior, emotional extremes Inner belief: “I can’t survive alone, but I can’t trust you.” One-liner: I’m gonna be exploding violently (usually self destructive or self-sacrificing) at the first hurdle.

Why It Matters

Understanding these disorders helps reduce stigma and encourages compassion. None of these patterns arise from “bad character” — they’re shaped by trauma, temperament, and unmet emotional needs.

A Perspective

There’s early trauma and shame. Then, there’s a fear of shame, when the solution is not calculated then it is Borderline Personality because it mostly leads to self-sabotage. Narcissistic Personality is a calculated solution involving manipulation of others. Avoidant personality is a collapse from the narcissistic personality, due to the awareness of people’s judgments or unwillingness to manipulate, still a calculated solution.

One Easy solution currently could be, preventing Early Shame.

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Ref:

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).
Ronningstam, E. (2005). Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality. Oxford University Press.

What do you think? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

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