Understanding Two Siblings

Hi folks, Today we are going to understand 2 different personality styles, a Narcissist and an Avoidant.

Narcissist is a person who intensely needs admiration. Avoidant is a person who intensely needs independence.

Narcissists and Their Need for Admiration

Narcissists are often characterized by their intense need for admiration. This need isn’t just a desire but a deep-seated requirement that fuels their self-esteem and sense of worth. Narcissists thrive on validation from others, using it as a way to reinforce their self-image and maintain their perceived superiority.

However, this constant need for admiration often comes at the expense of genuine, unconditional love. Narcissists may find themselves in relationships where they are admired but not truly loved for who they are. This superficial connection can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction, as the external validation they crave never fully satisfies the deeper emotional needs that unconditional love would provide.

And, Narcissists often employ not pretty tactics like manipulation, gas-lighting to get what they want, even at the expense of others in a grand way because of their grandiosity needs from the others.

Avoidants and Their Need for Respect

Avoidants, on the other hand, are driven by a strong need for respect—specifically, respect for their boundaries and autonomy. They value their independence and often keep others at a distance to protect themselves from vulnerability and emotional pain. While this approach helps avoidants feel safe and in control, it also means they may miss out on the deeper emotional connections that come with unconditional love.

Unlike narcissists, avoidants don’t necessarily need to be admired or praised; what they truly want is for their space and need for independence to be respected. This focus on maintaining distance can create a barrier to experiencing the kind of deep, unconditional love that requires emotional closeness and vulnerability. As a result, avoidants may suffer from feelings of loneliness or a sense of missing out on the full richness of relationships.

And, Avoidants too employ not pretty tactics like manipulation, gas-lighting to get what they want, even at the expense of others but very subtly because of their freewill, empathetic needs from the others and maybe that is why avoidants are not hated as much as their narcissist sibling.

The Common Ground: Conditional Needs

Both narcissists and avoidants suffer because their primary needs—admiration for narcissists and respect for avoidants—often overshadow their need for unconditional love. For narcissists, the endless pursuit of admiration doesn’t fulfill their deeper emotional needs, leaving them in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. For avoidants, the safety and security of maintaining distance can lead to a lack of deep, fulfilling connections, resulting in loneliness and emotional isolation.

When can they both be good people for others?

Contrary to popular belief they both can be good to others, but terms and conditions applied. Basically, as long as the grandiosity needs are fulfilled, a narcissist is the best parent, partner. Similarly, An avoidant is the best parent and partner, when their freewill needs are fulfilled.

Ultimately, by acknowledging and addressing these underlying needs, both narcissists and avoidants can work towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships that provide not just what they want, but what they truly need.